For the Birds

The girls got a bird feeder with seeds, and a book about attracting birds for Christmas.  We put the feeder out right away but it took a while for the birds to notice it.  Being the middle of the winter and all!
The last few weeks, however, have been very busy at the feeder.  And the book has come in handy for identifying all these little friends too.
On the feeder we have seen at least four different types of birds:
Chipping Sparrows

Chickadees
Red Breasted Nuthatch
and one glimpse of an American Goldfinch.
They all seem to like the sunflower seeds best, and spend their time digging through the rest of the seed to get to them.  The sparrows in particular.  They are funny to watch, as they sweep their beaks back and forth and the seed flies everywhere.  I will hopefully capture photos of all of them soon.
And a couple of Mourning Doves like to hang out under the feeder and clean up the scraps.

Spring Cleaning

Things have been a little slow over the winter, but spring is here and we're getting back into full swing!  Summer is going to be fun and busy!

Today we went for a walk and collected trash and returnables on the side of the road.  We're going to save them up (the returnables, that is) and get something fun at the end of the summer!

Total Bottle Money so far: 

$1.35

Intentional Parenting

One of the most basic things you need to know about me as an educator and parent is that I believe everything we do with our children now, from the day they are born, is teaching them how to live in the world.  I feel that that is our most important job.  If you look at it from that perspective I think it will change how you parent.  I call it intentional parenting.  And it's really not that hard.  It can seem daunting but after a while it becomes second nature.

It involves two parts.  The first is: Treat your child with respect.  You can not expect your child to be respectful if you do not model it to them.  They are a tiny person who deserves respect.  The second part is: "Start as you mean to go on" (From my favorite book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer)

So with those in mind, think about the traits that you would want in your grown children.  What sort of behaviors are acceptable for adults?  Here are just a few of the basics:

• Patience
• Empathy
• Confidence
• Self Regulation
• Problem Solving  
• Team work and
• Rational thinking

Now think about how you can foster these things in young children.  First and foremost, the first step to teaching each one of these things is to model it.  You have to practice these traits yourself so your kids can see them in action.  Do not try to tell your kids the old "Do as I say, not as I do..." It won't work!

I'll break some of these down each in their own posts soon!  

Discipline vs. Punishment

According to Merriam-Webster.com:
Origin of DISCIPLINE

Middle English, from Anglo-French & Latin; Anglo-French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil

The meaning of discipline has somehow evolved into "punishment".  Which I am not a fan of.  On Merriam-Webster.com the very first definition is "punishment".  The second says " obsolete : instruction"  Then it goes on to list a few more definitions, including molding and perfection moral character, enforcing obedience, controlling behavior and a system of order.  

But looking at the root of the word it is clear that it has to do with teaching students.  

So if you look at discipline as a way of teaching

Sharing

I apologize in advance if I go off on a little bit of a tangent here... I have a tendency to do so sometimes... and I'm a little feisty today!  Haha.

Sharing is over rated if you ask me.  I don't like to share certain things.  I have things that are mine.  I worked for them, I paid for them, they belong to me.  Why should I have to share them?  I don't.  Not always.  So why do we teach our children that they MUST share everything?  My husband would say that I am in this line of work because I am, myself, just an over grown two year old.  I relate better to children than adults.  He's probably right!

If you've read any of my other posts, you probably know that I view parenting as a chance to teach our children how to function in the world later.

Let me give you a scenario:

You're at work, you made a really yummy dinner last night and you brought leftovers for your lunch.  Someone else in the office smells it and asks to share half your lunch.  Maybe more people come in and want some of your lunch.  Do you HAVE to give it to them?  If you share with everyone you won't have more than a couple bites left for your own lunch.  You do not HAVE to share.

You buy a new toy for yourself.  A snow machine.  If your friends call you up and people start showing up at your door asking to use it, do you have to let them?  No.

The Importance of Mud Pies and other Fun Things

Check out this article about some fun must-have experiences for babies and toddlers! "Now is the time they will master many of the skills that will set them up for life. Making a mud pie or jumping in a puddle has never been so important," http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16485368

January: Winter in Maine: Birds in Winter

My girls got a bird feeder and a book about birds for Christmas.  So I expanded a little on that for our theme.

We glued sticks and leaves to create our own nests: 

We're learning how to say "bird" in sign language.  

More to come... 

Sippy Cups ~ Friend or Enemy? (Maybe Both)

A topic of interest to me came up on a forum last week.  Actually, now that I think about it, it didn't come up.  I brought it up.

So here it is:

The original post was about how long providers "let" children use bottles at their daycare.  Was there as certain age that providers cut kids off from them.  The replies from other providers varied a bit, but the general consensus was somewhere between 12 & 15 months was their limit.  

My original reply was:
"Once they're sitting at the table eating food for breakfast/lunch with the other kids, I give them a cup to drink from. If they still take bottles other times of day I will give them, but I discourage bottles at nap time anyway. I try to get them to fall asleep without a bottle when the start here, no matter what age. I don't do sippy cups here, so they just move straight to the cup. When they're 10months or so, I start holding a cup with formula in it, and when they're a little older I let them do it, putting JUST enough liquid in the cup to cover the bottom. If that. Maybe a few drops worth at first. They pretty quickly catch on."  

That actually encroaches on two topics I find very near and dear to my heart, but the one I'm focusing on at the moment is Sippy Cups.  Someone else replied and asked why it is I don't do Sippies.  

This was my answer to that:
"I worked for Early Head Start for a long time, and they discourage use of sippy cups. For a few reasons. I just kept it up when I started doing this at home. I did use them with my own kids, usually only for water. I definitely used them in the car! 
But the main ideas about it are:

• Too much use can be bad for teeth. Mostly because sugar sits on your teeth for up to 20 minutes after each time you eat (or drink), so if they're carrying around a sippy with juice or milk in it, and sipping on it all day long, their teeth never get a break from the sugars.
• Also, using a regular cup is good for speech development. It's not exactly that sippys are BAD for it, but more-so that regular cups are good for it. The muscles of the mouth used for a sippy are different than the muscles used for drinking from a cup.
• And kind of toward the childhood obesity thing... if they're carrying it around with juice or milk, they're taking in empty calories all day long. (Not that milk is empty calories... but that's a whole different issue... kids only need like 3 servings of dairy per day... between milk in their cereal, milk at meals, cheese, yogurt etc... most kids are getting WAY too many calories from dairy on a regular basis.)
• And on a side note, they have to learn to drink from a cup someday. They won't ever learn till they have experience. So if they don't use a cup till they're 4, they won't learn how till they're 4. But if they use it when they're 1, they can learn how when they're 1.

I give them milk at meals. And if they are thirsty otherwise, I give them water. So even if they're still new at it and spill it, it's just water! I've been lucky to not have too many young ones so far. So I haven't had to deal with it much. But when they're young enough, I do the cups with a tiny bit at mealtime, but still give a bottle after the meal, so I don't have to worry about intake."

Are sippy cups the devil?  I don't think so.  I know some people that do think so, but I really don't.  Used appropriately, they are a WONDERFUL resource!  In the car or on an outing where you don't want spills.  They're fabulous.  And I do let the kids keep one of WATER in their room at night, especially if they have a cold.  They can drink it half in their sleep and put it back without having to worry about spilling and changing sheets in the middle of the night.  

So... There you have it.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!  

The other topic that it brought up was putting babies to sleep with bottles (or nursing).  Not putting babies to BED with a bottle.  Two totally different topics.  I'll touch on that another time.  But for now, let me hear what your take is on the Sippies.

HATE is such a strong word

A couple of days ago my 5y looked at me and said "You hate me." Because I wouldn't let her play with something she wanted, or have a snack at that moment, or... something.  I don't even remember.  I said "I most certainly do not hate you."  She said it a few more times and we went back and forth until I realized we were not going to get anywhere.  So I asked her if she knew what that word meant.  She said "no".  So I simply explained that to hate her, meant I wouldn't love her anymore.  And I definitely love her, no matter what.  She said okay, and went into "You don't like me", which I could handle.
A day or two later she looked me in the face and said "I hate you" (because I wouldn't let her watch her TV show).  It pained me to remain as calm as I did, but I didn't take offense.  I just kept repeating to her that it doesn't matter how she feels about me, I will always love her.  I feel like this is the best possible option for a situation like this.  Right now is when our children are forming their opinions about the world.  And in this particular instance, about love and relationships.  Even about marriage.  They are watching EVERYTHING we do.  When I tell her that I love her even if she hates me or even when she's naughty, she learns about unconditional love.  Love, real love, is more than a fuzzy feeling.  It's a choice.  It is choosing to care for someone even when you don't "feel like it".  And I choose to love her no mater what.  Call me crazy, but I think something like this sets the foundation for relationships for the rest of their lives.
Eventually she calmed down.  She even said she loved me later.  And much later, when we were all in good spirits, I told her that it hurt my feelings when she said she hated me, and I would be happy if she didn't say that again.  She said okay and went about her business.  And then the next morning, after she had had some time to think and digest, she came to me all on her own and said she was sorry for saying that to me.  I said "Thank you" and dropped it.  There wasn't any more to be said about it.